The Gospel of Marc
Tags: Word Salad, And More!, Tech Fascist Cabal
I usually only focus on Peter Thiel’s word salad, but this time I decided to broaden my horizons and read Marc Andreessen’s The Techno-Optimist Manifesto, which was posted on the a16z blog in October 2023.
In a series of paragraphs (and there’s a lot of them), Andreessen explains, in the kind of embarrassing prose you’d expect from a Miss Universe contestant (seriously, it’s totally cringe), why technology is going to save us all and shouldn’t be feared. This important message is displayed with some of the worst text formatting I’ve ever had the misfortune of seeing. Really, it’s fugly. And just how fugly? See the screenshot below.
To make it easier for readers, the manifesto is split into fifteen sections. Yes, you read it correctly, fifteen:
Lies
Truth
Technology
Markets
The Techno-Capital Machine
Intelligence
Energy
Abundance
Not Utopia, But Close Enough
Becoming Technological Supermen
Technological Values
The Meaning of Life
The Enemy
The Future
Patron Saints of Techno-Optimism
Right in the second section, Truth, Andreessen announces: “I am here to bring the good news”. And what are the good news? That technological advancement will fix everything. For instance, more and better tech means greater productivity, which in turn lowers prices and allows people to buy more. My non multi-billionaire VC brain immediately wondered about all the workers that will inevitably lose their jobs the more production processes get optimized, and how even the most qualified workers may end up being replaced by tech. I can see how in the end we could achieve this futuristic world where everyone has access to everything regardless of income, but I can also see how, until we reach that noble goal, there could be a period of time in which things will still be too expensive and a great number of people won’t be able to afford them because they lost their jobs due to that better, more productive tech. And if prices are lowered to nearly nothing, that would mean production costs are super low, too, which would include wages and therefore mean even employed people might not be able to afford these cheaper products. Sure, everyone could pivot to tech-related jobs, but then you’d have a surplus of equally qualified workers, which in turn would also allow for wages to be lowered… until a good chunk of them get replaced by AI. Not that anyone should be worried about AI, because, according to Andreessen, it’s a “universal problem solver”. He goes so far as to declare that “any deceleration of AI will cost lives. Deaths that were preventable by the AI that was prevented from existing is a form of murder”. That sounds a little dramatic. Frankly, it’s hard to snark when the original text is already ridiculously OTT. Also, if the AI-developers really wanted universal support, maybe they should have focused on how it applies to scientific research instead of pushing it as a shitty plagiarizing machine and scoff at the people they’re ripping off. Something that Andreessen doesn’t mention about this life-saving AI is the cost to the environment, though in the Energy section he writes about how clean energy is possible if we get over out fears and embrace nuclear fission and/or fusion. Hopefully by the time the Techno-Optimists start building nuclear power plants all over the place the AI’s tendency for hallucinating will have been fixed or they’ll be accelerating into a field of mushroom clouds.
To make things clearer for people wondering about the aspirations of Techno-Optimists, Andreessen quotes that bit about the time when Man will have lost his creative drive from the Prologue of Nietzsche’s Thus Spoke Zarathustra and follows it with:
Our enemy is… that.
We aspire to be… not that.
Well, that was very enlightening, Marc, thank you. Maybe try not quoting several paragraphs of good writing in the midst of your word salad next time, okay? In case anyone thinks that’s not enough, there’s also:
We believe in not Utopia, but also not Apocalypse.
I may have previously snarked about Peter Thiel’s Against Edenism, but if that’s what Andreessen means, Thiel explained this whole Technology Will Save Us All And We Shouldn’t Fear It thing with a lot less paragraphs there; and when you manage to take longer than Peter Thiel to get your point across, you should really reconsider inflicting your writing on the public.
Unfortunately, the road to this bright Techno-Optimist future is a perilous one. The greatest threat is what Andreessen calls “zombie ideas”. They’re basically a barrage of angry old men yelling Get Off My Lawn at any attempt at radical innovation, especially if it involves nuclear anything. But fear not, dear reader, for the Techno-Optimists are very dedicated to the quest for a better tomorrow:
We believe in the romance of technology, of industry. The eros of the train, the car, the electric light, the skyscraper. And the microchip, the neural network, the rocket, the split atom.
We believe in adventure. Undertaking the Hero’s Journey, rebelling against the status quo, mapping uncharted territory, conquering dragons, and bringing home the spoils for our community.
I can’t believe Andreessen not only wrote that, but thought it was good enough to hit publish. Now, many people are concerned about overpopulation, but not the Techno-Optimists; in fact, they think that the Earth could do with even more people.
We believe that out of all these people will come scientists, technologists, artists, and visionaries beyond our wildest dreams.
Aw, Andreessen remembered to include artists. He also appears to not have seen Idiocracy or know now how long it takes for a human being to reach the intellectual level necessary to contribute to this technological jump. Even with a high percentage of prodigies, there would still be a time where you’d have way too many mouths to feed and not enough food. Unless the Techno-Optimists are going with Soylent Green as plan B if they turn out to be wrong and their awesome tech can’t increase Earth’s resources or make it possible to send some of this abundant population into space. But maybe I’m being too pessimistic, after all, there are MARKETS! Yes, markets, which are a wonderful, miraculous thing that can keep people from poverty. The problem with markets are monopolies and the like, because if the markets are truly free, everyone benefits!
markets exploit the best of us to benefit all of us.
Hmm, does Andreessen think he and his Silicon Valley billionaire buddies are being exploited by the poors? This has the same vibe as Ayn Rand denouncing the persecution of that defenceless minority: American Big Business. Or maybe I’m just being prejudiced, because he goes on to write that:
We believe there is no conflict between capitalist profits and a social welfare system that protects the vulnerable. In fact, they are aligned - the production of markets creates the economic wealth that pays for everything else we want as a society.
That is true, but do the Techno-Optimists know how that wealth reaches the welfare system? That’s right, TAXES, which they don’t seem to be particularly fond of. However, while most currently connect Andreessen, Thiel, and their friends/associates with the looniest fringe of the American Right, Andreessen assures readers that Techno-Optimism isn’t a political movement, has room for different affiliations, and is basically open to anyone sharing in its values:
We invite everyone to join us in Techno-Optimism.
The water is warm.
Yeah, that’s… unfortunate. Let’s just say that when I think of warm swimming water, the first thing on my mind isn’t a sun-kissed beach… Though, considering the results of their political manoeuvring, my mental image fits perfectly. The Manifesto ends with a list of authors/thinkers/whatever that Andreessen thinks anyone interested in Techno-Optimism should read because clearly the best way to end this crap was with homework. Jeez.
Well, that was embarrassing. I’m presuming this was another example of the Tech Fascist Cabal’s attempts to make us believe they’re idiots so we don’t find out about their intricate master plan before it comes to fruition that Shanley Kane keeps warning people about. For me, it worked, but I guess they decided to play it safe and sent Musk to bounce around on stage like a buffoon and then become Trump’s new (temporary) BFF just to make sure. And if anyone is feeling a little confused by all these feral American billionaires, may I suggest the work of J G Ballard? Because while a good number of people usually worry about the ignorant masses, he was looking to the upper class’s potential for going batshit crazy and unleash chaos (and implied cannibalism).
[Note: I was going to do an Optimism double feature with Thiel’s The Optimistic Thought Experiment, but that’s much longer and I didn’t want to wait; so, for now, you get this one]
By Danforth